Building a bridge, for you to be able to move on, doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to leave someone or something.
To You My Dear Friend
I am well aware that you still battle against it day by day. And only by His grace are you able to rise up against it every time.
Don’t you worry. One day, you’ll get used to it. That you’re not with them anymore.
One day, you’ll move on. Just like how you were able to do so before. But I know, you will have those nostalgic moments when you will look at your photos with them and remember the good stuff. Tearjerker. I know, right.
If God allowed this, surrender. I know it hurts you cause you’ve learned to open your heart. You’ve learned to be vulnerable. You’ve allowed them to peek into your life. You’ve given them the keys to your heart that you chose to lock up for so long. You shared your dreams. You thought they were the “one”. You thought it would last. But it turned out not as you anticiapated.
I know you’re caught off guard. Somehow, you find yourself wallowing in regret. I tell you, you made the right decision back then. don’t tell me you never were joyful and satisfied during those times you were together! You grew. I saw it! You learned from them. You shared laughters. You saw them cry. Don’t ever regret that you have allowed your life to be entangled with theirs.
If you think your “trust was betrayed” (as you described it), you are not alone. God felt that. He still feels it. God feels your pain. The only one who can counsel you is Him who had walked the path you’re walking through right now. And remember, they’re humans as well. Imperfect. They hurt just as you can also hurt them.
Maximize this time. Take this time to cultivate your relationship with your Prince. Allow your roots to grow deeper. Get alone with God. As much as possible. Get your joy from him. Validation from him. Be vulnerable to him. Let him heal you. And I pray that as your run your hands along the scar which you just acquired, may it not be self-pity that will overrule you. May you feel redeemed. I pray that it won’t be bitterness that will get ahold of you, but rather may Love consume you!
Find joy in this trying time.This struggle you’re facing is not meaningless. Who knows, if perhaps, as Laura Story sings in her song, the “trials of this life are your mercies in disguise?”
Don’t be afraid. Open that heart once more. Don’t you dare wear that mask again! You’ve been set free. Gone are the shackles. Broken are the chains.
He holds your hand. He won’t let you fall even when all else seems to be falling. You are loved. Preach that to yourself every single day. Till your seemingly fragile heart sings with confidence that you are indeed loved and cared for.
One day when you look back you will find that God beautifully scripted everything. You may not see it now, but don’t stop looking.
Praying for you,
Pagkatapos ng prayer time para sa campus, babalik na ako sa 5th floor, “hinampas” ako ni Ate Selle (Campus Missionary to PUP) sa balikat. Hindi ko maalala bakit. Siguro dahil benta pa rin sa kanya ang “Chinito” joke ko.
Ako: Hala. Bakit ka nanghahampas?
Ate Selle: Nanghahampas ako ng tao kapag close na kami.
Ako: Hah! Okay.
Natuwa lang ako na close na pala kami. At nakakatuwa dahil pareho kami ng gesture. Hampasera! Hahaha! Nakakatuwa na benta sa kanya ang mga jokes ko. Mga ilang minuto rin siyang tatawa. Grabehan. Nakakatuwa rin that she wears sneakers. Kasi naman feeling ko, sa age ko, nakakaoff na magrubber shoes.
At ang pinakanakakatuwa, she believes lots of doctrines and beliefs i also believe. (Well, I happen to be acquainted with some Christians whose views are not the same with mine. For instance, they believe spiritual disciplines are duties Christians ought to do and i believe it’s a privilege—to commune with God, to spend time with him. Privilege not a duty. Jerry Bridges emphasized this in his book, Transforming Grace. Good read!) How God doesn’t need our service but He wants our hearts. it is grace alone that we are able to serve Him. Christians being faithless at times which all the more is magnifying God’s faithfulness. That we can never be living sacrifices for God if not of His mercy (romans 12:1). That it’s okay even if God doesn’t use us, because what matters is that He moves and He can use anyone He desires to use. And a lot mooore.
I feel this connection towards her. Siguro dahil sa hampas. Bow.
- Reign: Kamusta na Dgroup leader mo?
- Me (confused kasi alam kong di naman niya kilala): Ha?
- R: Si Grace.
- M: Ah. Hindi ko siya dgroup leader :)
- R: So sino dgroup leader mo?
- M: (thinks. attempts to say something, didn't let out whatever that is, looks at him and smiles)
So, I guess we are who we are for alot of reasons. And maybe we’ll never know most of them. But even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.
Another chance. I. Want. To. Grow. Up. Seriously.
Sana idesire niya ulit na mawitness yun.
If in this time of being “alone”, I’d get to know my Savior more, then I shall embrace it. :)
Towards cultivating a life set-apart for Him alone! :)
Sometimes, God redeems us from our struggles; some other times, He redeems us through our struggles.
Practice. Practice. Practice. :)
Thank you classmates.